Lockdown Distraction Tactics #1
Write local limericks
A young man from Frampton on Severn
decided he’d grown up in heaven.
Though he keeps trying
he has no chance of flying
and just broke bones ten and eleven.
A young woman brought up in Bisley
found sex to be torrid and grisly.
Her only joy and surprise
came on closing her eyes
and dreaming of days cold and drizzly.
An old maid from Minchinhampton
found her land illegally glamped on.
She gathered up her skirts
and herded cows at the yurts
who made yoghurt of the glampers they stamped on.
An intrepid old fella from Box
bred alpacas for wool for his socks.
The alpacas bred faster
than the knitting of their master;
they now terrorise Minch common in flocks.
The wise lovers of Rodborough insist
on a harness for any outdoor tryst.
It’s not so much about fashion
as about not killing passion
by rolling fast down the hill as if pissed.
A Tetbury man of some note
lived his last years alone with a goat.
Only the media attention
for this breach of convention
kept their odd little arrangement afloat.
